The Shower
by QueenBee7
Summary: A 3 part story about Chuck and Blair, and the role a certain shower plays in their relationship. Set after 2x14. Rated M for the last chapter!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I'm still not done with my other story, Finding A Way Back, but after seeing Monday's episode I was inspired to write this... I'm planning on it being three chapters, and the rest will come soon. This particular chapter doesn't really need to be rated M, but the last one, and possibly the next one, definitely will be. Enjoy, and please review!**

Chapter 1

"I'M CHUCK BASS!" He yelled at the cold New York night. "No one cares." It was true. No one, not even his own father, had ever cared about him.

"I do!" a familiar voice cried. It was Blair, walking torwards him, an expression of great determination on her face. He looked down at her through a haze of grief and alcohol.

"Don't you understand?" she said, the emotion strong in her voice. "I'll always be here. I don't want you going anywhere. I couldn't bear it." She spoke with such sincerity that he almost believed her. "So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don't do that to me." She looked like she was about to cry as she extended her hand towards him, silently begging him to come down from the ledge.

If he jumped off that ledge right now, perhaps it would put him out of his misery. But it would only add to Blair's. He had hurt her so much already, and yet she kept coming back to save him. He couldn't do this to her, not after everything she had done for him.

Very slowly, he reached down and took her hand, his eyes locked on hers. The intensity of their gaze pierced through him like nothing else had since his father's death. Blair. In spite of everything, she was still there. He had pushed everyone away, and yet she was the one who kept coming back. _I'll always be here._

"Please," she said, tugging his hand gently. He couldn't leave her. Not like this. He stepped down from the ledge and collapsed into her arms as she breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into her shoulder, his hands clutching at her. She hugged him tightly, just like she had on the night before he had left. Like she was never going to let go. And he knew that she never would let go, if that was what he needed.

"It's okay," she said. "It's okay."

* * *

Somehow, he couldn't stop himself from hurting her. Even after that night on the ledge, when she had saved him yet again, he continued to push her away. And she continued to come back to him, even though it was getting harder and harder to hide the pain in her eyes. He knew that he was slowly breaking her, but he couldn't figure out how to stop. It was so much easier to lose himself in alcohol and random women than to actually accept her help. He had already caved into his weakness and allowed himself to depend on her twice. He couldn't do that again. He would only hurt her in the end. And so he tried to push her away, because that was the only way he knew how to save her from his own inevitable darkness.

He was at Victrola, again. Plastered and high on all kinds of drugs, as usual. A woman on either side of him, smoothing his hair and fiddling with his collar. She had found him like this many times before. Steeling herself for the sickening sensation she felt every time he looked at her with those blank eyes, she strutted over and stood before him. "Chuck," she said firmly.

"Not again," he slurred, attempting to roll his eyes and failing miserably. "Leave, Blair. I don't want you here."

"Well that sucks for you, because I'm not going anywhere," she said. "Now, if you'll please dismiss your whores - " she spared the two women a disgusted glance, and they glared back at her, " - I'm taking you back to your suite."

He simply smirked at her. "Fine," Blair said. "I'll do it myself. You two. Leave. _Now_."

"That won't be necessary, ladies," Chuck drawled, placing a hand on each of their legs.

"Oh yes it will," Blair hissed, shooting a death glare at the two women. Not wanting to get involved, they scowled at Blair but got up and left. Chuck glowered but said nothing - he was too tired to argue. His eyes began to drift closed. "Come _on_, Chuck!" Blair groaned. She reached down and grabbed his arm, pulling it over her shoulder and dragging him into a standing position. His head lolled forward, and he sagged against her. Staggering under his weight, she made her way outside, where his limo was waiting. She shoved him inside and crawled in after him, instructing the driver to take them to the Palace.

His head fell on to her shoulder, and in spite of herself, she reached up to stroke his hair. This was becoming something of a routine with them. She would find him plastered at Victrola, drag him back to his limo, and deposit him in his suite at the Palace. By the time she left him there, he was normally coherent enough to snarl at her to get out because he didn't want her there. After hearing those words from him so many times, she wished she would have just become numb to it, but she hadn't. It still hurt just as badly every time. But he needed her, and she would keep letting him hurt her for as long as he needed her help. And maybe someday, he would stop trying to push her away and realize that she wasn't going to leave him. But she tried not to let herself hope too much for that day.

The limo pulled up in front of the Palace, and Chuck was still not stirring. Blair heaved him out on to the pavement and stumbled her way through the lobby, pulling him into the elevator. He slumped against her as they rode up to the 18th floor. By the time they made it to his suite, Blair was panting. She dropped him on to his bed and collapsed next to him, wondering whether it was safe to leave him. On normal nights, he was usually awake and yelling at her at this point. But tonight, he was just beginning to stir. Maybe he drank more than usual?

"Chuck?" she said softly, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up." He half opened his eyes and peered up at her, mumbling something incoherent. He was starting to really worry her. She stood up, spent a full two minutes searching for a clean glass in his pig sty of a suite, and then filled it with water in the bathroom before returning to his bed. She pulled him into a sitting position and tried to pour some water into his mouth, but it simply spilled back out as he gagged. "Okay, you need to throw up," she said. She dragged him into the bathroom and sat him down in front of the toilet. "Come on, Chuck." He simply fell forward and rested his head against the toilet seat.

Blair could feel tears begin to well up in her eyes, and she tried desperately to blink them back. She couldn't bear to see him like this, so completely helpless. She lifted his head up and tried to pour some more water into his mouth, hoping it would make him gag again, and luckily it did. He coughed, heaved, and finally threw up, some of the puke splattering on his shirt and in his hair, but (thank God) not her. Blair wrinkled her nose but tried not to be too disgusted. Honestly, the things she did for Chuck Bass.

She supported his violently shaking body as he threw up again, then let him sag against the toilet as she stood up and soaked a wash cloth with water from the sink. She pressed the cool cloth against his head and then used it to wipe his mouth. He leaned back against the wall, eyes still closed, but breathing more evenly now. She flushed the toilet and crawled towards him, dabbing at the vomit stains on his shirt with the wash cloth. "Chuck?" she said tentatively, praying that he would respond.

"Thank you," he managed to choke out.

"Are you okay?" she asked in a quavering voice, even though she knew he wasn't.

"I'm fine," he lied.

"Drink some water," she said, pressing the glass to his lips. He opened his mouth obediently and was finally able to swallow some. "I think you should take a bath," she continued, eyeing the vomit in his hair. "You're disgusting, and it might make you feel better."

"There's not a bathtub in this bathroom," he mumbled. Looking around, she saw that he was right - there was only a huge glass shower. Why the hell was there no bathtub in this place? Wasn't this supposed to be a nice hotel?

"Alright, fine," Blair said, sighing. "Then you should take a shower." They both knew that there was no way he'd be able to stand up in the shower alone.

"I can't stand," he said.

"It doesn't matter. I'll help you," she replied, her voice determined. He had vomit in his hair and on his clothes, and he wreaked of alcohol and smoke. He needed a shower, and he was going to take one, even if it meant Blair had to temporarily sacrifice some of her dignity. She'd gotten into a habit of doing that for Chuck, anyway.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, but he was too drunk to think of a sarcastic comment. "Keep the crude remarks to yourself, Bass," Blair warned. "I'm only doing this because you're absolutely disgusting, and a shower will make you feel better." Chuck didn't say anything. He just looked at her through half-closed eyes, a slight smirk on his lips. She dragged him to his feet and leaned him against the wall - he was still too unsteady to stand on his own. Trying not to blush, she lifted his tie over his head and started unbuttoning his shirt, avoiding the vomit. He watched her intently as she pulled the shirt apart and tugged it off, her warm hands grazing his chest and shoulders. She knelt down and he obediently lifted each foot so that she could pull off his shoes. Standing back up, she avoided his gaze as she reached for his belt, unbuckled it, and pulled it off. Then she unhooked the button, unzipped his fly, and with a deep breath, pulled his pants down. With an even deeper breath, she reached up and pulled his boxers down as well, trying to ignore the fact that he was now completely naked.

"Well, Waldorf, you always know how to get me out my pants," Chuck slurred, smirking at her.

"Cut the crap, Chuck. Put your arm around me," Blair ordered.

"Happily," he said. He slid an arm around her waist and took a shaky step forward, stumbling over his shoes. She held on to him tightly, her fingers pressing into his hip bone. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. When she had envisioned taking showers with Chuck in the past, this was not at all what she had had in mind. Still supporting him, she turned on the shower and shoved him inside, stepping in after him. Her clothes were going to get soaked, but there was no way she was taking them off.

"Just lean on me," she instructed him. His arms were around her waist, and his head was resting against her shoulder. She could smell the vomit in his hair. "Hold your breath," she said, forcing his head under the water and rinsing his hair. She leaned him gently against the wall of the shower as she squirted some shampoo into her hand and began to lather his hair. He sighed at the feeling of her hands massaging his pounding head, and he was disappointed when she pulled away and stuck his head back under the water.

"You should take your clothes off too, Blair," Chuck said, in what she imagined was supposed to be a seductive voice. She chose to ignore him, and instead began scrubbing his shoulders with soap. She gently worked her way down each of his arms, trying not to enjoy the feel of his hands in hers. All the while he watched her, transfixed, as her soft hands glided over his aching body. When she began soaping his chest, she found it virtually impossible to not reminisce about the many times she had kissed him there as she unbuttoned his shirt... but that was the last thing she needed to think about right now. She had already taken an abnormally long time to wash his stomach, and she was unsure where to go from there. Her hands hovered uncertainly at his waist, and in spite of herself, she looked up into his eyes.

Blair was surprised and touched to find that her gaze was not met with a smirk or a rude comment about finishing the job she had started. Instead, Chuck smiled slightly at her and said, "It's okay, I can do it." He attempted to stand and fell back against the wall, his feet slipping a few inches forward. "Maybe with a little help?"

She nodded and slid her arm around his waist as he took the soap from her hand. Leaning heavily on her, he ran the soap over his thighs. Blair was doing her best to look anywhere but at him and his... _legs_, but it wasn't long before she heard the soap fall to the tiled floor of the shower. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay." Blair bent down and picked up the soap, handing it back to him. She took a moment to gain control of herself, then placed her hand over his and held it tightly, helping him clean himself. Working together, they slowly washed each of his legs. "Alright, I think that's good enough," Blair said, placing the soap back on the ledge. She turned off the water and helped him step out of the shower, grabbing a fluffy towel off of its hook. As she gently toweled him off, he simply stared at her awe. Through his lessening (though still severe) inebriation, he was beginning to recognize how much she had done for him tonight. She was standing before him, drying him off, even though her own hair and clothes were completely drenched and causing her to shiver slightly. He didn't deserve this girl.

She tucked him into a bathrobe and lay him down on his bed before attending to her own dripping wet clothes. In the bathroom, she peeled them off and dried herself with another towel before slipping into one of his dress shirts. She could have put on the other bathrobe, but something about wearing his clothes was strangely comforting. It made her feel close to him - to the old Chuck, the one she hoped would reappear someday. Blair gazed at her reflection in the mirror, wondering when she had become this. Her hair was knotted and damp, her makeup was smudged, and she was clinging desperately to Chuck's dress shirt. Tears began to fall from her eyes. How had she let this happen? Had her life really become that pathetic, that she had to resort to wearing Chuck's clothes just to feel some semblance of the closeness she craved from him?

Blair Waldorf was many things, but she was absolutely not pathetic. She had allowed Chuck to crush and hurt her over and over again, telling herself that he needed her, that he didn't mean it every time he yelled at her to leave, that he just needed time. But she had given him time, and nothing had changed. She couldn't go on like this much longer - he would destroy her. And so she made up her mind right then and there. If he came to her, she would be there, like she had promised. But she would not force her help on him anymore. As much as she wanted to save him, she needed to save herself first.

Clutching his shirt to her body, she walked back into the bedroom, where he was sleeping soundly. A few hours from now, she would get up, wash her face, fix her hair, reapply her makeup, and put her own clothes back on. She would walk out of his suite with her head held high, leaving him before he could shout at her to get out. She would fight back her tears, put on a smile, lie to Dorota and Serena that she was fine, and begin trying to piece her life back together. But for right now, she would allow herself a few more hours of weakness. She crossed the room, crawled into bed beside him, and snuggled against his warm body as her own shook with silent sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Alright, here's part two of this story... part three will be coming soon. I'm really enjoying writing this, and so far I'm pretty happy with how it's turned out. I hope you all like it as much as I do! Please keeping reading and reviewing!**

Chapter 2

Chuck awoke in the middle of the night to find Blair sleeping beside him, her small hand resting on his chest and her head nuzzled against his shoulder. The events of the night were a blur - he vaguely recalled arriving at Victrola, but he had no idea what he had done there. The next thing he remembered was Blair undressing him and helping him take a shower. He couldn't believe she had done that for him, especially considering he had probably been drunkenly hitting on her the entire time. He would never understand why she wasted her time on him. He wasn't worth it.

He put an arm around her and pulled her closer to him as she slept. He didn't want to wake her now, but tomorrow, he would thank her for everything. He wouldn't scream at her to get out, or act like he didn't care anymore. He would try to find a way to show her how much he appreciated everything she had done for him. But for now, he would let her rest. Stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, he gradually drifted back to sleep.

The next morning, Chuck woke up to a pounding head and an empty bed. Blair was gone. Even as he called out her name in desperation, he knew she wouldn't respond. He had finally pushed her over the edge, and she had left him. For good. He knew he should feel relief that she had finally let him go. It was better this way, for her at least. It wasn't fair of him to continue to hurt her. Now she could return to her old life and move on, forever freed of the burden of loving the disaster that was Chuck Bass. He should have felt relief, but he only felt agony. He had already pushed everyone who cared about him away: Lily, Serena, Eric, Nate. And now he had finally succeeded in pushing away the one person who actually loved him. Blair was gone, and now Chuck Bass was truly alone.

* * *

It had been several days since Chuck had awoken to his empty bed, and he had still not seen or heard from Blair. He hadn't been going to school, but he had been checking Gossip Girl obsessively for updates on Blair. It seemed like she was doing well.

_Spotted: Queen B, dressed to the nines and sporting her trademark headband, laughing with S on the steps of the Met. Could it be that she really has moved on from a certain tortured billionaire? And speaking of, where has Chuck Bass been lately? Still skulking around Victrola? Better watch out, C - it looks like your princess might not always be there to save you. xoxo, Gossip Girl._

Chuck glared at Gossip Girl's most recent post before sliding his phone back into his pocket. At the moment, he was, in fact, "skulking around Victrola," clutching a barely sipped on glass of scotch. As much as he had wanted to lose himself in alcohol this week, for some reason he hadn't been able to bring himself to drink much. The liquor tasted especially bitter in his mouth, and it didn't bring the relief he was looking for. Maybe because the relief he was really looking for wasn't what he felt when he drank, but what he felt when a certain brunette turned up to make him stop drinking. Without that, the appeal of getting wasted was significantly diminished.

Placing his drink on the table in front of him, Chuck sat down on his usual front-row couch and pressed his hands over his eyes. Almost immediately, two women seated themselves beside him, but he barely noticed. He leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, trying not to think about Blair or Gossip Girl's most recent update as he dozed off.

He awoke several hours later to his phone vibrating obnoxiously in his pocket. Annoyed, he pulled it out and glanced down at another text from Gossip Girl. _Spotted: B flying solo at the Palace, throwing back a few too many drinks. Is that water in her glass, or is the queen not as fine as she's been acting? xoxo, Gossip Girl._

Chuck felt his stomach drop. Blair rarely drank - especially not when she was alone at a bar. Sure, she'd have a drink with Serena now and then, maybe get a little tipsy at the occasional party. But she never went to bars and got drunk by herself. That was Serena's thing, or it had been, anyway. After all, sloppy drunkeness didn't exactly promote the image of proper perfection that Blair had worked so hard to create for herself. So what the hell was she doing? The sickening sensation of dread and guilt that was beginning to wash over Chuck told him that this was his fault. Because of him, Blair was about to fall into the same downward spiral he himself had been experiencing. He had to save her before she did something she would regret. Grabbing his jacket, he left Victrola, leapt into his limo, and ordered the driver to take him to the Palace immediately.

* * *

Blair was drunk, and it felt so good. In spite of Serena's neverending efforts to make her feel better over the past few days, Blair had never been so depressed. Staying away from Chuck was harder than she had expected, and trying to act normal around her friends was virtually impossible. She was sick of hurting, sick of pretending to be perfectly fine even though she was still completely shattered. All she wanted was to make it all go away for one night, to forget about the pain and the heartbreak and that sense of helplessness she had been feeling ever since Bart Bass had died. And so she had put on a sexy black mini dress that hugged her curves and showed off an almost indecent amount of her thigh (a dress that was much more Serena's style than Blair's) and headed to the Palace.

She had barely taken a sip of her drink when another one arrived, sent by a handsome young man with dark hair and dark eyes sitting not too far away. She raised her glass to him and smiled sexily before finishing both drinks much more quickly than she should have. Three drinks later, she was really starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, and the man who had sent her a drink was eyeing her hungrily. Filled with alcohol-induced confidence, Blair beckoned him over, a smile playing across her lips. It felt so good to not care for once. Now she could flirt with this guy and go home feeling a little bit better about herself, at least temporarily.

"Hey sexy," Blair said boldly, her words slightly surred.

"Hey," he replied, placing a hand on her bare thigh. "I'm Matt."

"Blair," she said, enjoying the fact that she was drunk enough not to feel violated by the fact that this guy already had his hand on her leg.

"Nice to meet you, Blair," he said, leaning closer to her. "Wanna go some place a little more private?"

"Okay," she agreed. She wasn't planning on doing anything with this guy, but she would play along for a while. It was nice to feel wanted. She hopped down off of her stool and stumbled slightly, falling against Matt. "Oops," she giggled, clinging to his arm. "I'm a little drunk."

"You're also fucking hot," Matt said, putting an unnecessarily possessive arm around her waist as they walked out of the room. He led her down a dark hallway and into a small, dimly lit lounge. "Looks like we're the only ones in here," he said with a satisfied smirk.

"Mm," Blair nodded, starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She didn't want to be alone in some sketchy lounge with this creep. Before she could say anything else, Matt had pressed her forcefully against thewall and was sticking his tongue down her throat. She tried to push him away, but he was much stronger than her. He crushed himself against her body, pinning her to the wall as he forced her dress up higher on her thigh.

"Stop," Blair moaned, making a feeble attempt to shove him away.

"Oh come on, you know you want it," Matt drawled, putting a hand on her breast.

"No, seriously, stop!" she cried, tears starting to form in her eyes. But he wouldn't stop. He yanked her dress up higher, roughly sliding a hand over her panties before reaching for the zipper of his pants.

* * *

When Chuck arrived at the Palace, Blair was no longer sitting at the bar. Panic washed over him as he hurried over to the bar and flagged down the bartender. "Was there a gorgeous and way too drunk brunette sitting here earlier?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, she just left a minute ago," the bartender said. "She was wasted."

"Was she alone when she left?" Chuck's heart was pounding.

"No, some guy was all over her."

Chuck felt a wave of fury rip through him. If that guy so much as laid a finger on Blair... "Where'd they go?" Chuck choked out in a dangerous voice.

The bartender looked concerned. "Back there." He gestured towards a hallway at the back that Chuck knew led to a lounge that was normally empty. He had taken several girls back there in the past, and it was always to do one thing. Another wave of fury crashed over him at the thought of some creep taking advantage of Blair. He sprinted down the hall and stopped outside the door to the lounge, listening. He felt his entire body freeze with terror as her pleading voice drifted out into the hallway, repeating the word "stop" with increasing desperation.

Chuck slammed the door open with such force that for a second he thought he had broken it. Stepping into the room, his eyes fell immediately on Blair, pressed up against a wall as some disgusting creep ripped at her panties, his own pants already unzipped. "Get the fuck away from her!" Chuck thundered, running forward and ripping the guy off of Blair.

"What the fuck, dude?" Matt said angrily, wrenching his arm out of Chuck's vicelike grip.

"Get the fuck out of here before I break your fucking neck," Chuck snarled dangerously.

"Fine, fine, just chill the fuck out, I'm leaving," Matt said, backing out of the room. When he was gone, Chuck turned to Blair, still seething. She was slumped against the wall, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Did he hurt you? He didn't - he didn't _do_ anything to you, did he?" Chuck asked, not sure how to phrase his question, but she knew what he meant and shook her head.

"Not really. But he was about to," she replied in a strained voice as her body shook with another sob.

"Shh, Blair, don't cry, he's gone," Chuck said softly, reaching a hand foward to stroke her cheek.

"Don't touch me!" she said, pushing his hand away and shuddering. She didn't want any man to put his hands on her right now.

"Sorry," he said, startled. "Come on, let's go up to my suite. We can order some food, it'll make you feel better."

"No. I don't want your help," Blair said, shaking her head. Even in her extremely intoxicated state, she knew that she was supposed to be avoiding Chuck Bass. Even if he had just saved her from being raped and was behaving with uncharacteristic kindness. "I just want to go home," she said in a quavering voice.

"Blair, I'm not letting you go home. You're in no condition to be alone right now," Chuck said firmly.

"I'm fine," Blair hissed. "Just leave me alone." She tried to stand up straight, but she was too drunk - she only fell back against the wall.

"You're not fine," he said. "Please just come with me."

"Fine," she said in resignation. There was no way she was going to be able to go anywhere alone while she was this drunk.

"Thank you." He reached towards her tentatively, and she shrank away from him. "Do you mind if I help you walk?"

She stared at him for a while, then shook her head slowly. He gently placed an arm around her waist, and she leaned into him. They took a few shaky steps forward, but Blair could barely support her weight. "I think it would be easier if I carried you," Chuck said, looking down at her. He knew she would be hesitant about that much physical contact so soon after that fucking creep had put his dirty hands all over her.

"Okay," she consented. She shuddered slightly but didn't resist as he slid an arm under her legs and lifted her off the ground. As he carried her out of the lounge, on to an elevator, and into his suite, her head fell against his chest, and she allowed herself to cry again. His heart broke as he felt her tears seep through his shirt. How had he let this happen to her? How had he driven her to drink so much that she hadn't thought twice about walking into a dark room with a total stranger? It was so unlike Blair to do something that irresponsible. He didn't want to think about what would have happened to her if he hadn't gotten there when he did. He hated himself for not rescuing her sooner, especially considering this whole ordeal was entirely his fault.

He placed her gently on his bed and sat down beside her, careful not to touch her. "Do you want something to eat?" he asked.

Blair shook her head. "No. I want to take a shower. I want to rinse him off of me," she said, shivering as she remembered the feeling of Matt's hands groping her, and how close he had come to forcing himself inside of her. She needed a shower right now, so she could scrub that feeling off of her. She stood up quickly, ready to make a beeline for the bathroom, but there was still way too much alcohol in her system. The room seemed to spin, and she would have fallen flat on her face if Chuck hadn't caught her.

He stood up, putting his arm around her waist and holding her upright. "I don't know if a shower is such a good idea right now," he said softly.

She looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes. "No, I need to take a shower right now! I can feel him all over me, Chuck! I just want to make it go away," she cried, burying her face in his chest.

"Okay," Chuck said, stroking her hair. "It's okay. We'll make it go away."

"Thank you," she murmured, sniffling. She clung to him as he guided her into the bathroom.

"Look, Blair," he said hesitantly. "I'm gonna have to get in the shower with you. You can barely stand." She looked up at him in terror, shaking her head. "Don't worry, I'll keep my clothes on. I'm not going to hurt you, Blair. I promise. I swear to God, I won't hurt you." The sincerity in his voice and his eyes reassured her, and she gave a slight nod. "Do you need help getting undressed?" he asked. She swallowed and nodded again, trying to stay calm. This was Chuck. She trusted him - or at least, she had, once upon a time. He wasn't going to force himself on her. He was going to help her.

"Just hold on to me," he instructed, and she obeyed, gripping his arm tightly. He could tell that she was still terrified. Looking her straight in the eye, he slowly reached behind her and unzipped her dress, easing it down her body until it fell to the floor. She tried to unhook her bra, but her fingers fumbled with the clasp, so he helped her with that as well. He could feel her shaking against him as her bra fell away, but he willed himself to continue looking into her eyes rather than down at her breasts. He needed to prove to her that she could trust him.

Their hands met at her hip, and together they pulled her panties off. Blair forced herself not to think about the way Matt had touched her roughly through the thin material of her panties. Keeping his eyes locked on hers, Chuck stepped out of his shoes, turned on the water, and pulled Blair into the shower with him. She was still clinging to him tightly, too dizzy and unsteady to stand up straight. He grabbed the soap and worked up a lather in his hands before he began to wash the traces of Matt off of her.

Starting at her shoulders, he took his time washing her, knowing that she needed to feel as if every last bit of Matt's touch had been eliminated. When he reached her right hand, he laced his fingers with hers, holding on to her with one hand while the other traced a careful line of soap between her breasts. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by touching her there, but to his very great surprise, she took the hand that was holding hers and guided it up to her right breast. She wanted him to wash away the feeling of Matt's rough, groping hands. Taking a deep breath and forcing himself not to think about how extremely sensual this was, Chuck gently washed each of her breasts before moving down to her stomach and lower back.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, gripping her waist tightly as his fingers grazed over her hip.

"Yeah," she breathed, still holding on to him tightly to keep herself steady. Lifting up each of her legs in turn, Chuck slid his soapy hands along them, cleaning the spot on her thigh where Matt had first touched her, and the spot where his bruising hands had forced her dress up.

When he finished washing her left calf, Chuck said, "Is it all gone?"

"I think so," Blair replied. She felt much better now, thanks to the combination of soap actually cleaning her body and Chuck's surprisingly gentle hands erasing the memory of Matt's forceful touch.

"Good." Chuck turned off the water and helped her out of the shower, tugging a towel off of its hook. He carefully dried her off before wrapping the towel around her body.

"Thank you, Chuck," Blair said softly, gazing up at him, her eyes filled with trust. The fact that she trusted him enough to let him touch her like that after what had just happened filled him with a sense of worthiness that he had never experienced before. Finally, Blair had needed him, and he had been there for her. He had saved her and taken care of her without causing her any harm, and because of that, she trusted him. He would have hugged her with no intention of letting go, but he didn't want his wet clothes to make her cold, so he settled on kissing her forehead. Then he lead her back into the bedroom, dressed her in one of his buttondowns, and laid her down on his bed. She watched him as he stripped off his wet clothes, dried himself off, and changed into his pajamas before crawling into bed beside her. She snuggled closer to him, placing a hand on his chest as he kissed her forehead again. Then he linked his fingers with hers once more as they both drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, here is the third and final installment to this story... I hope you all like it! Thank you so much for the great reviews - I really love to hear what you guys think! I wasn't totally sure how I wanted this chapter to play out, but I'm pretty satisfied with it, and as promised, it is most definitely rated M. I really enjoyed exploring more of the emotional side to Chuck and Blair's relationship with this story, especially since the past few GG episodes have been so packed with emotions (can't wait for another one tonight!). Now I'll probably get back to working on some more steamy encounters to wrap up Finding a Way Back, and I also have some ideas for a new story. Keep reading and reviewing!**

Chapter 3

The next morning, Blair woke up with Chuck's arm wrapped around her. It took her a moment to comprehend the situation - and then, suddenly, memories of last night flooded into her brain. Pinned against a wall, some disgusting guy ripping up her dress and unzipping his pants. Chuck storming in just in time and yelling, then carrying her upstairs. Chuck undressing her, washing her, and then putting her to bed. Chuck kissing her tenderly on the forehead before they fell asleep. And now Chuck fast asleep, one arm holding her tightly. Had all of that really happened? On a normal night, Chuck would have been getting trashed and fucking some skank at Victrola - how had he known that she needed him? And why had he suddenly decided to come to her rescue, after pushing her away for so long?

She shifted against him, trying to make sense of the situation, and he stirred. Opening his eyes, he looked over at her and met her soft brown eyes. He was half surprised, half relieved that she hadn't disappeared again. "Good morning," he said sleepily, wondering how much of last night she remembered, and how she would react to finding herself in bed with him. He supposed it was a good sign that she hadn't taken off yet.

"Good morning," she replied.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Okay." Her head hurt a little, and she was slightly nauseous, but she felt surprisingly good considering how much she alcohol she had imbibed last night. She had never really been one to get hangovers.

"Good." He paused, wondering whether he should ask his next question. He didn't want to upset her. "Do you remember much from last night?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah," she said, her face falling as images of that dark room flashed through her mind once more. "How did you know where I was?"

"Gossip Girl posted something about you drinking alone at the Palace," he explained. Under other circumstances, he probably would have been embarrassed about stalking her on Gossip Girl, but all he felt right now was grateful that he had seen the post.

"Oh God," Blair groaned. "Now everyone's going to think I'm an alcoholic."

"No, everyone's just going to think that I fucked you up pretty badly," Chuck said softly, overwhelmed with guilt. Blair bit her lip and looked away from him, not wanting to acknowledge the truth in his words. "Anyway, I - I was worried about you, so I went to check it out, and when I got there, the bartender said you had left..." he took a deep breath, trying to control his fury. "With that fucking creep." A few tears threatened to spill out of Blair's eyes, but she blinked them back. Chuck looked up at the ceiling, consumed with self-loathing for having let this happen to Blair.

"Chuck?" Blair said.

"Yeah?" he replied, still looking at the ceiling.

"Thank you."

He looked over at her. "You don't have to thank me," he said. "I definitely owed you one, after everything you've done for me... I'm so sorry, Blair. This is all my fault. Everything you've been going through - all of it is my fault. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she said. "I forgive you. It's okay." She lifted her lips to his and kissed him gently.

After a few seconds, he forced himself to pull away. He wanted her so badly, but he knew he didn't deserve her. "No, stop. You deserve so much better than me."

"I don't _want_ better than you. I just want _you_," Blair insisted. Her eyes were watering again, but her mouth was set in that expression she always wore when she was determined to get what she wanted. "How long is it going to take you to understand that?"

Chuck watched her in awe. Why she wanted him, after everything he had put her through, he would never understand. But for some reason, she did still want him, and he wanted her, more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. He was done pushing her away. They had waited long enough; it was time for them to be together. Chuck lifted her chin up so that her eyes met his, and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you, Blair," he said. _Finally_. He had finally said those three words that he had been afraid of for so long. It felt so good to finally be able to tell her how he felt.

Blair's eyes widened, and her entire face lit up with a smile. He loved her. He really, truly loved her. After everything they had gone through together - the sneaking around, the games, the fights, the heartbreak, Bart's death - he had finally spoken the words that they had both always known were true. Chuck Bass loved Blair Waldorf. And oh, did she love him too. "I love you too," she said, pulling him towards her and kissing him with more intensity than he had ever experienced before. Her hand snaked up into his hair as she pressed herself against him and hooked her leg over his hip. He could feel her breasts rubbing against his chest through the thin material of the buttondown she had slept in. He felt himself grow hard almost instantly - that's how it always was with Blair, and it had been so long... But after what had happened to her last night, he didn't want to scare her with his... _enthusiasm_. The last thing she needed was to feel as if he was forcing himself on her.

"Wait, Blair, stop that," he said, pushing her away.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused. He shot a meaningful glance down at his crotch, and suddenly she registered the feeling of his erection against her leg. "Oh," she said, her eyes widening.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "I don't want you to feel like you have to... I'll take care of it," he mumbled. He rolled off the bed and hurried into the bathroom to run himself a cold shower. Blair watched him go, shocked that Chuck Bass had just apologized to her for being horny. Chuck never apologized about anything involving sex. He was always shamelessly horny - in fact, it was a trait he took great pride in. And even though she normally pretended to be disgusted by him, the truth was it actually kind of turned her on, especially when it was her that was making him hard. But watching him deny himself of sex because he was worried about pressuring her turned her on even more. It was sweet that he thought she needed space, but she was ready to go. She trusted him, and she knew he respected her. He would never force her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with. She wanted to feel his hands on her body, touching her exactly how she wanted to be touched and erasing the memory of Matt from her mind. She also wanted to show him just how much she appreciated everything he had done for her last night.

Blair hopped off of the bed and walked into the bathroom. Chuck was already in the shower, trying unsuccessfully to fight down his erection. The pent-up frustration of not being able to do anything to her while she was fucking naked in the shower last night, and of having to stop things from progressing any further just a minute ago, had left him hard as a rock. He knew that it had been the right thing to restrain himself, but unfortunately it seemed that his penis disagreed.

The sound of Blair's voice coming from much closer than the bedroom broke into his reverie. "Chuck," she said. His head snapped up and his hands flew to his crotch in a feeble attempt to hide his very obvious erection. She was standing at the entrance to the shower, a slight smirk playing across her lips as she eyed his groin. She was still dressed in only his white dress shirt, and when she stepped forward into the water, it suddenly became completely see-through. Chuck's breath caught in his throat as he admired the way the wet material clung to her hips and the curve of her breasts. This girl was going to be the death of him.

"What are you doing, Blair?" Chuck managed to choke out, trying to tear his eyes away from her hardened nipples.

"I thought I might be able to help you out," she replied coyly, dropping her eyes to his crotch. "Because it doesn't seem like the cold shower's doing the trick." She advanced towards him and wound her arms around his neck, kissing him. He placed his hands on her waist uncertainly, pulling her closer to him as she ground her hips against his erection. Chuck swore in his head.

"You don't have to," he said, his breathing heavy.

"I know," she replied, kissing his neck as her hands slid down his chest. "But I want to." Her fingertips grazed over his hips as she sank to her knees before him. She began placing light kisses on his inner thighs, coming agonizingly close to but carefully avoiding his throbbing dick. Chuck's hands curled into fists, and he leaned his head back against the wall of the shower. He wished he had something to hold on to right now - she was killing him.

"Blair. Please," he begged, thrusting his hips towards her. She looked up at him, a devilish expression on her face. Keeping her eyes locked on his, she reached up and wrapped her small hand around him. He gasped. "Please," he said again. She blew lightly on his tip, not moving her hand, and he let out a strangled groan, his back arching off the wall.

"Does that feel good?" Blair asked innocently, beginning to move her hand up and down his length at a torturously slow pace.

"Yes," he breathed. He was so hard it was painful. "Fuck. Fuck." He was panting.

She kissed his tip gently before wrapping her lips around him. His eyes rolled back into his head as a deep, animalistic groan ripped through his throat. She eased his length deeper into her mouth, stroking his balls with her hand and gliding her tongue over his shaft. He twitched and grunted, his hands grabbing fistfuls of her hair and pulling her closer to him. She sucked him hard, knowing he was close and loving the power she had over him right now. He couldn't even form words anymore, but he continued to let out low moans of absolute ecstasy. Her lips and tongue were working quickly, and she finally pushed him over the edge by gently grazing his balls with her fingernails. His whole body shuddered as he released into her, and she swallowed everything, slowly sliding her lips off of him.

"Jesus, Blair," he said finally, once he had regained his voice. She was kissing her way back up his chest, feeling very pleased with herself. "You're fucking incredible."

"Thank you," she said, smiling against his lips as she kissed him. Then she stepped back into the spray of the shower, tilting her head upwards and letting the water pour over her. Very slowly, she began unbuttoning his shirt, trailing her fingers over the wet, exposed skin between her breasts. Chuck swallowed. He could already feel himself getting hard again. Honestly, how had he managed to land the fucking sexiest girl on the planet?

Deciding he didn't really have the patience to wait around while she toyed with him, Chuck stepped forward and pulled her towards him, his hands sliding under the shirt and resting on the naked skin of her hips. Blair flinched involuntarily as she felt him take control of the situation. She trusted him, of course, but she was still scared. As much as she was trying to forget it, the memory of Matt's hands roughly grabbing her hips was still etched in her mind. She wanted to feel Chuck inside of her, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to completely relinquish control of her body.

Chuck felt her stiffen under his touch, and instantly understood. He pulled his hands off of her and took a small step back. "I'm sorry," she said, avoiding his gaze. He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"Don't be sorry," he said. "Are you okay?"

"I - yeah," she said quietly. "I'm just scared."

"I know. But don't be afraid of me. You know we don't have to do anything you don't want to do." The concern in his eyes melted her heart.

She smiled at him gratefully. "I want to," she said. Taking a deep breath, she moved closer to him and placed his hands back on her hips. "You're just gonna have to walk me through this, okay?"

"Okay. Do you promise to tell me stop if you need me to?"

Blair was touched by how considerate he was being. She supposed it really did all come down to the fact that he loved her. "I promise," she said. "Thank you, Chuck."

He smiled. "For you, anything." He kissed her softly, trying to position himself so that his erection wasn't pressing too obviously against her. He slowly reached up and eased the shirt over her shoulders, peeling it off and letting it fall to the floor of the shower. One hand rested on the small of her back, pulling her closer to him, and the other found its way to her breast. He touched her very gently, carefully caressing her breast and massaging her nipple with his thumb. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer to him, allowing the tender feeling of his hand to replace the memory of Matt's unwelcome, bruising touch.

Chuck pulled his lips away from hers and began to leave a trail of kisses along her jaw, neck, and collarbone. "How are you doing?" he breathed, kissing her shoulder as he ran a hand along her arm.

"I'm good," she replied. Her forehead was resting against his shoulder, and her arms were still wrapped loosely around his neck. She loved how incredibly safe he was making her feel.

"Good," he said between kisses. He tilted her back slightly, replacing the hand on her breast with his mouth. He covered her sensitive skin with gentle kisses and swirled his tongue around her nipple before bringing his lips back up to meet hers. Still kissing her, he walked her backwards across the shower until she was pressed against the wall. She shuddered slightly, and Chuck knew she was remembering the way that fucking asshole had crushed her against the wall last night. He didn't want her to feel like she was trapped, so he pulled back slightly and looked her in the eye. "I'm not going to hurt you, Blair," he promised. She nodded, and leaned forward to kiss him again. He reached down and cupped her butt, lifting her up against the wall as she wrapped her legs around him. Keeping one hand on her butt, he used the other to find her hand and pressed it against the wall above her, his fingers laced with hers.

As Chuck positioned himself at her entrance, he broke their kiss and rested his forehead against hers. They were both breathing heavily, and her hand was clutching his tightly. "Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes." Her body was aching to feel him inside of her.

"I love you," he said, kissing her gently.

"I love you too." And as those words filled their bodies with burning passion and desperate intimacy, he slid inside of her. Blair's fingers pressed into his hand and his shoulder as her head fell back against the wall and her eyes rolled into her head. Chuck buried his face in the crook of her neck as he thrust into her slowly and gently, restraining himself from going any faster. They fell into a perfect rhythm, and it felt as if their bodies had been melded together into one. She reached her peak just as he released inside of her, and their gasps and moans met in the air as their bodies shook and quivered against each other.

When it was over, they didn't move. Chuck lifted his lips to Blair's and captured them in a tender kiss. And then they simply held each other, whispering blissful words of love into each other's ears.


End file.
